Christmas Outside The Wall
by FluffPuffCat
Summary: Shion wants to celebrate Christmas, but he lives in the West Block.


Shion was standing outside the theatre where Nezumi worked, waiting for Nezumi to come out. He rubbed his fingers together to create warmth. Nearby, a group of homeless people dressed in rags were huddled together with nothing but their own bodies to provide heat. The air was so cold that Shion couldn't stop shivering. He hugged his arms around himself, wishing that his red duffle coat was thicker. His breath formed a white fog in the air when he exhaled.

In the West Block, winter was a cruel season. The cold sapped peoples' energy and heat away. Often, it left them lying on the ground, lifeless, waiting to be picked up by the Disposers. There was no food to be grown, so hunger was a perpetual problem. Only people with wealth could afford to have heating, such as a fireplace, inside their house. Even then, they were only wealthy because they indulged in shady activities that benefited the people of No 6, like Rikiga with his pimp business. The rest, who were poor, treated winter as a matter of life or death.

But, today, there was a reason to celebrate. It was the occasion known in No 6 as Christmas. During this time, the people in No 6 would put up pine trees on the city streets and in their houses and decorate them with festive lights. The night before, families would gather together and place presents beneath the tree. They were opened on Christmas morning, and everyone would be smiling as they discovered the parents that they had given each other. Then, in the evening, everyone would sit down at the dinner table together to have a big meal.

However, Shion didn't see anything like that in the West Block. There were no decorations, no Christmas trees, no festive lights. And very few people had the money to afford a big meal for their family. Even so, Shion didn't want to miss Christmas. He had thought about how he could celebrate Christmas in the West Block when nobody else did. In the end, he decided to buy a present for the one person that mattered most to him, Nezumi.

When Nezumi finally came out of the theatre, he was immediately swamped by a crowd of diehard fans who begged for his attention. Shion giggled as he watched Nezumi wade through this crowd. Nezumi pushed away a man's face and shoved through a group of people trying to block his way. He was beautiful, so it made sense that he had so many fans, but Shion couldn't believe how popular Nezumi really was.

"What are you doing here, Shion?" Nezumi asked once he was far enough away from the crowd.

"I was waiting for you!" Shion replied. "Inukashi let me off work early today because I finished washing all of the dogs."

"And you came to wait for me?" Nezumi sounded annoyed.

"Yeah. I waited a while, too. Busy day?"

"You should've gone home. Can't you feel how cold it is right now? You'll get sick just standing out here."

"But I wanted to walk home with you, Nezumi."

Nezumi looked at Shion with a frustrated expression. He sighed, shook his head, and began walking. Shion followed after him, staring at his face.

"You're being a nuisance," Nezumi said.

"Why?"

"It feels like you came all the way here to pick me up so that you could walk me home. Thanks, but I know the way myself. I don't need you to be my guide."

Shion turned his eyes away from Nezumi and stared down at the ground. "Today's a special occasion, you know."

"And what would that occasion be?"

"It's Christmas."

Nezumi paused. He stood completely still for a moment, his expression halfway between incredulous anger and cold indifference. But Shion thought he saw a flash of something else in Nezumi's grey eyes as well - something that he couldn't quite pin down what it was. Nezumi resumed walking.

"Do you know what Christmas is?" Shion asked.

"I do, Shion. Christmas is something that the well-off citizens of No 6 can afford to celebrate every year on the date of December twenty-fifth, usually by giving each other presents and by decorating the whole city with lights."

"So, you have heard of Christmas!"

"Yes, and you must be an airhead if you believe that something like that can apply to the West Block." Nezumi lowered his head and sneered. "Unfortunately, even if we do know about Christmas, few people here are wealthy enough to celebrate it. And they certainly won't be putting up Christmas trees or lights for everyone to see."

"What about presents?"

"That's not even worth considering. You're letting yourself become burdened by your memories of your old life again. Cast all of it away. There's no Christmas to celebrate here."

"But, since we know about it, can't we celebrate it anyways?"

"You're pushing my patience now."

Shion didn't say anymore. He had a feeling that Nezumi would react like this to the suggestion that they celebrate Christmas together. But that didn't change the fact that he had bought Nezumi a present with the money that he'd been saving up from working at Inukashi's. Even if Nezumi didn't want to celebrate Christmas, Shion would still give him this present once they got home.

As they walked down the winding and dilapidated streets of the West Block, it began to snow. A chilly wind blew, carrying large flakes of snow through the air. Shion stretched out his hand, wanting to touch them. The flakes landed gently on his fingers and vanished instantly. Snow was the same, regardless of whether or not they were in No 6 or the West Block.

One thing that he had never gotten used to was the smell and sights of the West Block. If anything about the place was constant, it was just how smelly and dirty everything was. The ground was always covered in scraps of food waste like orange peels, paper litter, and decaying bones from the carcasses of dead animals. The air stank of rotting food and cigarette smoke. It was often accompanied by the stench of human sweat when they were in the market. And, no matter where he went, he could always hear people shouting, bartering, and arguing.

Homeless people sat around every building. Some of them would lie on the ground, surrounded by puddles of snot and vomit, having passed out from drinking. Others would be sick, or close to dying, their every breath a struggle. Many of them coughed up blood. Shion felt pity for them. If he could, he would have done everything in his ability to ease their pain. But he had learned, from experience, that it wasn't possible to help everyone. Often, lending out a helping hand would only make him a target for them or for other criminals that were hoping to catch an easy victim to prey upon.

Nezumi told him, time and again, that life in the West Block was about looking out for yourself.

Once they had left the West Block and walked into the open plains, the clouds cleared and the snow stopped falling. Their shoes crunched upon white and brown dirt. Shion looked up at the deep blue evening sky and saw a vast field of stars. Light pollution in No 6 made it impossible to see the stars as clearly as he could here. He couldn't help but pause and stare. When had the night sky been so beautiful? Nothing had changed, but, now, looking at the stars upon this frigid winter night, he felt as if he could drown in their light.

"Are you spacing out?" Nezumi called out to him.

Shion shook his head. "No. I was just looking at the stars. They're really beautiful tonight."

Again, Nezumi sighed. "Hurry up, or I'll leave you out here."

"You wouldn't do that."

"Are you challenging me?"

Shion caught up with Nezumi, panting. "Nezumi. Even if you don't want to celebrate Christmas, I've got something that'll make today special."

"What is it?"

"I got it yesterday and hid it in our room."

"You didn't answer my question. What did you get?"

Shion lowered his eyes and tried to smile. "You'll see once we get home. So, don't shut me out, okay?"

Nezumi let out a frustrated gasp. "Actually, I can't believe I let you hide something in my room. Or are you just lying to try and get your way with me?"

"I wouldn't lie to you, Nezumi."

"Whatever. Just hurry up and don't space out again."

When they arrived home, Shion sat down on their small couch and stretched out his arms. He watched Nezumi walk around the room, trying to find where his present had been hidden. Nezumi combed through the bookshelves, the kitchen stove, and their bed. After searching for less than a minute, he finally turned towards Shion.

"So, where is it, Shion?"

"Can we eat dinner first? Back in No 6, my mother would cook a big meal for us every Christmas."

"You've lived in the West Block for a while, Shion. What part of living here makes you think that we'd have the privilege of enjoying a big meal?"

"Well, you're a popular actor, right? Don't you have money saved up for occasions like this?"

"I do have extra money, but it's certainly not for treating you to a nice Christmas dinner."

"That's okay. We're not at the market, anyways. Let's just bring out all the food we have left and cook all of it. It'll be our own Christmas celebration dinner."

Nezumi stared daggers at Shion. "Sometimes, when I hear you speak, I honestly just want to shove my fist down your throat."

"Sorry, Nezumi. I know I'm being a little pushy today."

"A little? You're asking me to celebrate Christmas with you, as if we're living in No 6. Clearly, you haven't let go of your past yet. You're still just a privileged little boy."

Shion clasped his hands together and placed them on his lap. "You don't have to live in No 6 to celebrate Christmas."

"That's silly. Christmas is just a random date on the calendar. What reason is there to celebrate it?"

"There's plenty of reason. I've read your books, and many of them mention Christmas. Long ago, it was a religious holiday. But, more importantly, it was a day for families to spend time together. It didn't matter if they were too poor to afford presents or a big fancy meal. The important thing was that everyone came together to be happy and rejoice in spite of the cold winter."

"In that case, we can celebrate without eating a big meal, right?" Nezumi smirked. "You still haven't told me where your present was."

In a way, Shion knew that he was being selfish. He hadn't eaten a good meal in so many days. Sometimes, he would wake up in the middle of the night and feel a gnawing hunger. It was so painful that he would find it hard to fall asleep again. When morning came, he would feel weak and tired. But he knew that if he got out of bed and went to work, he'd be able to buy food, so he didn't need any motivating to get up. Still, he didn't want to go through that again tonight. He wanted to go to bed with a full stomach.

But, more importantly, he wanted to celebrate Christmas with Nezumi, so that they could remember today as their first Christmas together. It might be their last, too. Who knew what would happen when spring came and the parasite wasps woke up? He didn't want to think about it, and he hoped that they could still stay together after everything had passed.

"I'll show you your present after we eat," Shion said at last.

Nezumi walked towards their kitchen stove and looked through the cupboards. "There isn't much. I can boil the meat we have left to make soup. We have some noodles, too, so I can put that in the soup. Sound good?"

"What about vegetables?"

"There's a small can of spinach and some carrots. We also have those green onions that Rikiga gave you the other day. Which ones do you want?"

"How about all of them?" Shion asked, making a mischievous smile.

Nezumi stared at Shion without replying. Then, shrugging, he took out all of the vegetables.

While waiting for their meal to be ready, Shion stood up and walked towards the bookshelves. A few months ago, when he had cleaned up the massive sea of books here, Nezumi had marvelled at how clean the whole place had become. But now, the place was becoming messy again. Piles of books that Shion had read and forgotten to put back on the shelves lay strewn over the floor. Cravat scurried onto Shion's shoulder as he picked up one of the books that he had been reading the night before. However, Shion placed the book back down. He was dissatisfied with the mess that he had made. Before their Christmas dinner, he was going to clean everything all over again.

Every once in a while, Shion glanced at the spot that he had been sitting at to make sure that his present was still there, below the couch.

He wasn't even close to cleaning the place up by the time dinner was ready. But he could hardly resist the hunger gnawing at his stomach any longer, so he went over to their table to begin eating.

The noodles tasted delicious. The soup was rich with the taste of the different vegetables that Nezumi had boiled in it. Even though it was scarce compared to what he could eat back in No 6, he found that this was one of the best meals that he had ever eaten. Maybe it was because he had never eaten a meal so filling since he arrived at the West Block. The restaurants that Rikiga often took him out to often used spoiled ingredients that gave their meals a sour taste. Inukashi never gave him much food at all.

But this meal was cooked by Nezumi. It was made with all of Nezumi's effort and love. That was what made it a good Christmas dinner.

"Thank you," Shion said when he had finished eating.

"Did you enjoy your Christmas dinner?" Nezumi asked in a mocking tone.

"I did!"

Shion reached under the couch, pulled out his present box, and handed it to Nezumi.

"Merry Christmas, Nezumi."

Nezumi's expression remained blank. He looked like he didn't know how to react. With deft and elegant fingers, he began to unwrap the present. The wrapping paper came apart and he opened up the box.

Inside was a small grey mouse plushie.

A small smile spread slowly across his lips.

"Thanks, Shion," Nezumi said as he picked up the plushie. Both Cravat and Hamlet hopped onto Nezumi's shoulder as they examined the plushie. They were probably wondering if they had a new addition to their family.

"Do you like it?" Shion asked, beaming.

"Yes. I do. It's a little cheesy, though. Getting a rat for a Nezumi? Come on."

"Thank you!"

Both mice squeaked in concurrence.

Suddenly, Nezumi reached deep into his pocket and pulled out something small and rectangular, also wrapped in present paper. He handed it over to Shion.

"Merry Christmas, Shion."

"Wow!" Shion's red eyes lit up with delight. "You had a present for me all this time, too? Why didn't you just say so?"

"Because I didn't want to spoil it for you, Shion."

"Nezumi, I love you. You're so thoughtful."

The words 'I love you' made Nezumi reel away. He glanced back and forth between Shion's face and the mouse plushie that he was holding in his hands. His face was turning red. Then, with a sigh, Nezumi relaxed his expression.

"Just open up your present, Shion."

Shion unwrapped the paper, revealing a small red book without a title. As he flipped through it, he noticed that all those pages were blank, but there were lines for writing on.

"Is this a journal?" Shion asked.

Nezumi nodded. "Since you read so much, I thought you might enjoy writing, too. So treat it as a diary, or as a place for you to write down your ideas."

"Thank you, Nezumi. It's a wonderful present."

"You're welcome."

Shion stared into Nezumi's deep grey eyes. They were more beautiful than ever. Like the ocean, they flickered between calm and the extremes of emotion. He could never predict Nezumi. He could never see the true feelings hidden behind those eyes. Yet, those eyes comforted him.

Nezumi's hand touched Shion's head and gave him a slight push back.

"You're getting awfully close," Nezumi said.

"Sorry," Shion said. He weaved his hand through his ruffled white hair. "I couldn't stop looking at your eyes."

Nezumi groaned. "Once again, you've proven to me that your language skills are sorely lacking."

Shion giggled. "But they've improved, right?"

"Marginally."

Shion leaned back in his seat and put the journal in his lap. He thought about what he could write in it. Maybe he could write his thoughts on all the books that he had read. Maybe he could write letters to his mom and to Safu. Maybe he could make a plan to get a serum of his blood to No 6…

He shook his head.

Today was a day of celebration. Everything else could come after. For now, all he had to do was to be with Nezumi. That was all he needed to do.

Being with Nezumi was reason enough to celebrate Christmas.


End file.
